i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
