how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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