I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
