god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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