the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
