so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
