so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize