love makes seman taste better
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
