Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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