Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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