he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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