i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize