I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
