I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize