How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
