just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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