so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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