Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
