If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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