now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
