morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
