He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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