we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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