She said her name was "party"
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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