Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it hurts more in the daytime
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
