loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
