Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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