question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
time to smoke my breakfast
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
