Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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