Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Randomize
