the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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