i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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