Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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