I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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