kristin has been a bad kristin
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
