I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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