One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
