forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
