I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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