Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
