What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
