Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
