Swine flu. Run for my life!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
