She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
