brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
