Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize