I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
