That's when you crack a 10am beer
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
