his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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