Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
