I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
