yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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