we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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