your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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