I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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