Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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