I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize