so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
