I am puke
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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