I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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