I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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