You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he shaved USA in his pubs
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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