well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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