you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
