Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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