I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
