Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
